A Saga of Household Pests

As I mentioned briefly in this post, we have had squirrels in our attic (well, technically, the ceiling above the attic, since the attic is finished). But that's not all we have had for household pests. It actually has become quite comical the things we have encountered since we moved in. In fact, so much so that I thought the subject deserved to be put into writing. So I thought I'd share a poem I've been working on about our household pests.


A Saga of Household Pests
by Shannon Hanley

When we first moved in
We knew there were mice
So traps we did set
Not once, and not twice,
But several times
Until we were certain
We had caught all of
These pesky vermin.

Then one day we saw
A small squirrel scurry
Into our attic
In such a hurry.
So we set a trap
To catch our intruder,
Enticing him with
Sunflower-nut butter.

Two squirrels were caught
And driven far away,
In hopes that they wouldn’t
Return to us someday.
We thought we were done
With our unwelcome guests,
Until we heard more
Scratching and unrest.

So then we decided
To call in the trapper,
To see if he could see
What was the matter.
Grey squirrels, he thought,
And he trapped some more,
Taking them far away
From their little door.

But then we were all
Quite surprised to find
Some more squirrels of
A different kind!
The flying squirrels who
Had also come to nest
Up in our attic
Would need to be addressed.

I think the trapper
Had now realized
That this job was bigger
Than he first had eyed.
As for us, we are
Very, very glad
That we gave up trapping
And hired this man.

We seemed to be done
With all the squirrels,
When we found out that
Our yard was in peril.
The crows were feasting
On something in the grass -
We weren’t too concerned,
We thought it would pass.

But then something else came
Through our lawn late one night -
Foxes pawing the ground -
It was quite a site!
It appeared there were grubs
That the birds were chomping,
But what of the foxes?
Why were they stomping?

We started asking
And some suggested moles,
But we didn’t see
Tracks or mounds, just holes.
It’s still undetermined
What’s destroying our lawn,
But at least the foxes
Seem to now be gone.

All was well for some time,
Then one day I went up
To the attic to work
And heard some hubbub.
Squirrels again?? I thought,
But the next morning
Something unexpected -
We had no warning.

We were startled to see,
When we glanced outside
Our bedroom window,
Looking at us wide-eyed,
Sitting on our roof,
Was a little raccoon.
I thought to myself,
What’s next - a baboon?

You would think we lived
Way out in the woods,
With all these pests coming
To our neighborhood.
But in the city
Happily we dwell -
Even with these troubles,
We still think it’s swell.

But I do hope that
Our saga of pests
Very, very soon
Can be put to rest.
And that no new critters
To our house should roam,
Wreaking more havoc
In our new home.